Tuesday, July 01, 2014

An Execution

Here's another prompt from Brian Kiteley's The 3 A.M. Epiphany:
An Execution — Gather together three or four ordinary people. Let them meet in a businesslike environment—a conference room, a grade-school classroom after school hours, a hotel room that is part of a suite so the bed is out of sight. These three or four people are going to decide to put someone to death. They are not government officials, rogue CIA agents, Mafia lieutenants—they're just plain folks. And the person they choose to execute is also a run-of-the-mill person just like them, except he is slated for death.
Constructive criticism is welcome.


     A broad man sat, ornate table in the center of a decorated room. Removing his lips from a chicken leg, he asked a question of the 3 others who sat at the table with him. “Why do you think we’re here?”

     The man who sat directly across from him—with exaggerated facial features that made him appear rodent like—looked up from his plate. He had been closely observing the most tender bit of beef, which had been seasoned and smoked to perfection, but his eyes darted quickly to the other man and then back to his food. “It doesn’t matter. Be happy. Eat something and be quiet.”

     “Yeah. It’s not often that the benefactor invites people into his home for a feast,” said the busty woman as she plucked grapes from the stem. “We might as well enjoy it.”

     The broad man stood up, backing away from his plate. “That’s just it. Have you ever met anyone who’s been in here before?” He walked over to the glass wall the overlooked the walled entrance. On this side of the wall was a beautiful fountain surrounded by an unimaginable elaborate garden. On the other side: barely inhabitable ruins. “It seems odd.”

     “Hey, I recognize you now,” said the rodent fellow pointing at the broad man. “You’re the butcher, aren’t you?”

     “Yeah. I am.” The broad one turned around. “I don’t know you. Who are you? Some kind of scavenger?”

     “As a matter of fact, I am.” He said, leaning back in his chair. He turned to the busty woman but didn’t look her directly in the eyes. “I’ve heard stories about the cut of his meats,” he chuckled. “I’m sure he’d be willing to make you some kinda deal for a nice dagmeat ste—.”

     A forth voice finally made itself heard. “Shut your mouth, scavenger.” A darkhaired woman sat low to her empty plate. She pushed herself to her feet. “I do know someone who’s been in here. Or I did. My brother got an invitation to a feast once, but he never came back.”

     A door on the far end of the room opened, and a man holding a shining serving platter stepped into the dining hall. The butcher turned around and called to the man. “You there, what’s the meaning of this? Why are we here?” The figure walked forward into the light. The light from the window caught the man’s jaw and reflected from the polished metal plate that covered the lower half of his face. He would not speak. Instead he stood there until the butcher approached him and found an envelope on the platter. He opened the envelope and read aloud its singular contents.

     “One person from your village will be executed. Together, you will choose who dies.”

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Cheerful Spectator

Here's another prompt from Brian Kiteley's The 3 A.M. Epiphany for which I have nothing good to write:
The Cheerful Spectator — Introduce to yourself a narrator intimate to a story but outside it as well. The wonderful effect of a narrator who is intertwined with a story, but also essentially unimportant to its outcome is that you have more leisure to explore the complexities of the plot, the kinks in it, and the gaps of knowledge this cheerful spectator is going to have.
This is the third consecutive prompt from this book that has presented itself like a brick wall.  I tried to come up with something.  Anything.  But nothing came. Instead, I found myself drawn back to an old idea (from Oct. 2004), and even then I didn't really fulfill the prompt's central challenge.  I'm on to something, though.  I'm tinkering with this thing.  Let me know what you think.



     I'm tired of the suburbs. I would like to escape, but I can't leave while she's here. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Like a beautiful flower that sprouts up in the space between two slabs of the eternal sidewalk in Christopher Meadows. She's something different in this suburban sprawl of the same. Every house is the same, inhabited by the same family. Over and over and over into infinity.

     The only problem is that I'm no exception to the rule of law here. I'm just the youngest of 7 boys, and it's seems to have fallen on me to maintain the status quo until I get my own personal kingdom in the sky or something.

     The first time I tried to speak to her did not go as planned. I always made sure to leave my house at the same time as this girl from across the street and 4 houses down. 2108 Johnsway Drive. As long as I did that, I would never be late to school because I always ride my bike. But it didn't take me very long to realize that this girl that I kept zooming past was—like I already said—the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I really wanted to talk to her, but every time I went extra slow, we’d both get to school before I could figure out what to say.

     It took me about a block and a half to work up enough courage to ride up next to her. "Good morning," I said.

     "Oh," she said, having not noticed me until that very moment. "Hi."

     She just kept walking, and I just kept riding, both of us silent. I wasn't really sure what to say. I hadn't quite thought that far ahead. I was actually still pretty amazed that I managed to make it this far.

     Thankfully, she broke the silence. "You live down the street, right?"

     "Yeah. I'm Peter." After introducing yourself, the polite thing to do is shake hands, but you should never try to shake someone’s hand while riding a bike. You'll lose control and almost wreck. Then she will laugh at you. Then you would have to expertly regain control and finish introducing yourself. It’s a good thing that I definitely didn't do those things. "I'm Peter Drugal."

     "Hi, Peter," she said, not still laughing at the thing that I didn't do.

     "You can call me Pete."

     "A pleasure to meet you, Pete. I'm Andrea Snow."

     And then we got to school. I know it’s kind of a boring start for a story, so it’s a good thing that it’s only the start for a story.